Ok , so this post is to hopefully give me a little perspective by writing it down and maybe welcome some wisdom from my readers.
I signed Afton up for swim team this year. She is a fish. She loves the water and is very good.
Afton goes to swim team Mon.-Thurs. and has meets every Thurs. night.
For the first week of practice, I had to force her to go participate and get in the water. Then it got much better. Now, she loves practice.
Unfortuntaley, I can not say the same for the meets.
I had strep throat so I missed the first meet and Greg called and said that it was embarrassing. She wouldn't get in, she was crying, and throwing a huge baby fit. Our good friend, Audra tried to help and the coach got her in the water, but she didn't race.
So, the next meet we talked about. She was excited, she said she was going to swim and she knew what to expect. But, nope! Her race came up and I gave her a "little push" into the water, then I got a little meaner and when she would swim to grab the wall, I'd grab her hand and throw it out there and tell her to GO. We did this for three heats and then again for the next event, twice.
Greg and I were bribing her with anything and everything to just swim one length of the pool. Then we got upset and started threatening to take stuff away.
And what makes it worse is we just had a break while we went to the beach, but now we are back and and it was the same story at the meet tonight. She threw a big fit and didn't end up swimming.
Greg and I've talked aLOT about this and what to do. Greg says that we need to do the meets because we don't want to teach her that it's ok to throw a fit and get away with it and quit.
I feel like the worst mom ever and I am sososo frustrated as to why she won't do it. I know that if she gets in and does one race that she'll like it and want to do it all the time.
And I wonder if she had a little girlfriend on the team if it would be a different experience. We have some friends on the team, but the family we know has a boy Afton's age and she's made some new friends which is good.
I just don't know what to do with this stubborn child of mine. I am worried that I may be shooting down her self esteem instead of building it because I get so upset with her when she won't swim. It's one stinkin lane and I KNOW she can do it. She does it at practice. AGHHHHH!
These are the days! Right?!
3 comments:
Sounds like a kid thing...they're so hard to figure out sometimes. I have no advice, just sympathy! How are the Ladies doing? Putting up with the heat alright?
Skip the meets. It's no biggy. She will compete when she is ready. Sports should be fun at that little age.
Presley went to her meet Saturday. She wouldn't race the first 3 heats. She finally consented on the last race. Reagan encouraged her. Presley didn't have goggles so she swam pretty slow and funny. She came in 3rd of 3.
On the way home, Reagan (who was clearly disappointed) said this, "I put her in the race to take first, not to come in last."
Reagan is very competitive and then we had to have a talk with her. Presley knew she didn't race well, but we were just so happy she decided to try.
They will compete when the are ready. Keep encouraging and providing the opportunities. I would highly advise against forcing. It's not worth it.
I can understand what Greg is saying about not wanting to let her quit but I totally get the point that she will get used to competing on her own timetable so don't push too hard. I think that this may be what makes parenting the hardest job on the planet: there is not a 100% fool proof RIGHT answer. Both points are valid in my mind. All you can do is the best you can do and when you do get it right then you will know because you will feel good about it and you will be at peace. Every parent is different and every child is different. Hang in there! You are a great Mom and you'll get through this and she will, too.
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